Out and About In October

Out  and  About  In October

Out  and About In October     


Another visit to my brother in Wales is called for and to make things less complicated I’m taking the Bromkey , heavily laden with produce from my tiny garden ; grape juice and quince purée. As well as goats cheese, barley miso and avocado plus some garlic flavoured butter for the toasted Open sandwich.

The journey was straight forward , no panic to make the connection at Craven Arms , just in case, I asked the guard to text ahead to tell them there was an elderly passenger struggling across the bridge, which actually happened as the bike had fallen over and the front wheel had jammed , so it wasn’t easy .

Sorted that out on the next segment and got to Garth in sunshine , and quickly consumed a toasted sandwich on my brother’s home made bread for a much needed tea. 

We watched Detroithttps://m.youtube.com/watch?v=TZvjOjWBySM a movie by the same lady who made Hurt Locker 


This is the Wikipedia entry . We watched together and found it so intense that we were happy to have a break and do some gardening 

Extinction rebellion could push the culture into a new direction if that happens 

then its time to put the deserata poster back on the wall .

We also listened to a few versions of Atom Heart Mother, I first heard this at the Santa Monica Civic Auditorium when I lived in Venice Beach Ca. They played it in the second half as it came as a surprise, they had only just released it in the UK. And as most in the audience were fairly stoned as joints were going round , something that happened a lot in the 60s California it was an extra special performance.

Pink Floyd Atom heart mother Japanese’s version https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=RqcNqRA07yQ


From the pink tones in Spain 


Another orchestra version plays a very long act with a little help from a rock group and the singers 

We listen and watched quite a lot of stuff including this band Earth opera “as it was before”


Thought this tune isn’t on this album , it’s on the album “ Earth Opera . The second side of this album is noted for its lyrics on the war in Vietnam on second side .

Welsh band Samana worth a listen 


An examination of rejection


Rejection this is the big one for most of us, though in Buddhist wisdom we’re instructed to not take things personally. Easier said than done ,but what’s behind all this. 

Going back to early years if your given all the attention that you want rejection in later life is less traumatic. Though some children seem to be born self contained. But if My experience is anything to go by it’s more complicated. My mother brought me up under the baby guru of the day ,Truby King . Now this guy believed in the mother having an easier time. So everything was controlled by the mother , even to the extent of leaving baby to cry until the time was right . So I got used to amusing myself at night , a habit I’m afraid continued for far too long , but I won’t elaborate.

In later life this being too self contained puts any partner in the position of feeling redundant. But here’s the rub should the partner feel unwanted and looks elsewhere for someone who may appear to need them more and consequently take off , the less dependant one will often still feel rejected especially if they had genuine love for the So and So. ( I used a stronger term but the program wont let me.)

Now if you are able to feel non possessive love then you will be able to tolerate  

The bird leaving its nest. Which reminds me of another personal experience when the son who stayed with me when my wife left.

He was coming up to going to Uni , and he needed money to buy stuff , and his grant hadn’t come through yet . So he asked me for a loan , to be paid back when he received his grant. When that happened I had to decide whether to waive the loan or accept his offer to repay.

It occurred to me that if I waived it I was denying his attempt to be independent and free from my parental responsibility.

So would I loose him as I had lost my wife and my younger son who went with his mother and new man .

It seemed like a dilemma, but was it , wasn’t I just trying to delay the necessary separation of your children as they claim adulthood. As it happens I’m closer to him than ever emotionally .

So what I’m saying is that we are alone existentially , we can experience at any time the sudden loss of a loved one or a dependant child and we will have to get over it eventually.

Loss is one of the most powerful experience we shall ever have and it can also feel like rejection and could bring up anger and a feeling of abandonment.

There’s another form of rejection which comes inadvertently from the shadow.

Let’s say one of the partners is very capable and outgoing , so when something comes up they cope with it effortlessly. How does that make the other person feel when they aren’t so able , pretty inadequate I would imagine , and if they are unable to share this it can cause a rift in the relationship. I refer to this as a shadow , as the capable one won’t realise the distress they are causing to their partner.


In Wales

Another visit to our friends , last night some went off to a tent in the field to perform an Iowaska Ceremony, they had collected the required mushrooms .

They do this regularly, and I nearly went to Brazil to do one but the accident intervened. But I’m pretty sure that this wouldn’t be encouraged for Buddhist.


This is part of my Tuesday afternoon meditation group where we take turns reading from Father Thomas Keating Open Mind , Open Heart. though not strictly Buddhist he uses spiritual sources from all practices

 Richard Rohr's Daily Meditation

From the Center for Action and Contemplation

Week Forty-two

Ways of Knowing”

Doing the Homework

Sunday, October 13, 2019

Contemplation is an entirely different way of knowing reality that has the power to move us beyond mere ideology and dualistic thinking. Mature religion will always lead us to some form of prayer, meditation, or contemplation to balance out our usual calculating mind. Believe me, it is major surgery, and we must practice it for years to begin to rewire our egocentric responses. Contemplation is work, so much so that most people give up after their first futile attempts. But the goal of contemplation is not success, only the continuing practice itself. The only people who pray well are those who keep praying! In fact, continued re-connecting is what I mean by prayer, not occasional consolations that we may experience.

The capacity for nondual knowing that is developed through contemplation allows us to be happy, rooted in God, comfortable with paradox and mystery, and largely immune to mass consciousness and its false promises. This is true wisdom knowing, and it is the job of elders to pass it on to the next generation so we need not start at zero.

Contemplation is meeting as much reality as we can handle in its most simple and immediate form—without filters, judgments, or commentaries. The ego doesn’t trust this way of seeing, which is why it is so rare, “a narrow gate and a hard road that leads to life, and only a few find it” (Matthew 7:14, New Jerusalem Bible). The only way we can contemplate is by recognizing and relativizing our own compulsive mental grids—our practiced ways of judging, critiquing, blocking, filtering, and computing everything. But we first have to catch ourselves in the act and recognize how habitual our egoic, dualistic thinking is. Each person must do this homework for themselves. It cannot be achieved by reading someone else’s conclusions.

When our judgmental mind and all its commentaries are placed aside, God finally has a chance to get through to us, because our pettiness and self-protective filters are at last out of the way. Then Truth stands revealed on its own—quite simply—and we will experience a rebirth of the soul.

Gateway to Presence:

If you want to go deeper with today’s meditation, take note of what word or phrase stands out to you. Come back to that word or phrase throughout the day, being present to its impact and invitation.


One of my lodgers is leaving

After living in the house for several years he’s finally going to retire to Portugal.

He was a good craftsman and over the years tiled the bathroom and kitchen and laid floors . He and the other lodger restored the ageing bathroom while I was on an adventure, so it was a lovely surprise on my return. And he has just put a bannister rail up the stairs to help my ageing body get to the bathroom . His replacement a monk who recently disrobed I’ve known since he ordained


This week I was planning to stay with Tracy , my new friend in Suffolk and attend the Benjamin Britten weekend at the Snape Maltings . It suddenly all fell apart . The YHA that I was going to stay was closing for the weekend . ( I could have stayed at the Maltings but I haven’t yet allowed myself to indulge in luxurious hotels .)

 My friend had a serious fallout with her house friend ( and the weather looked too wet for camping ) so I just cancelled , sacrificed the advanced rail ticket and invited my stricken Suffolk friend to escape her turmoil and come and stay in my spare room and spend a few days with our bus passes travelling around Sussex and maybe a visit to the monastery if she can stomach it. An interesting expression as the meals that are usually dished up are beyond any dreams that ones stomach may have.

After the initial let down , as my expectations were over the wall , another interesting saying , but I won’t go there today , I recovered and am enjoying the heightened sense of freedom I don’t have to check in my diary , as I shouldn’t be here. In fact I’m typing this in the tiny conservatory with the rain teeming down .OMG I’ve just ordered a deserata poster , all this freedom must be going to my head . I’ll better lock myself in the meditation Kute for the duration PLG Tony 

 Ps I’m visiting my old Brighton friends one of whom has decanted to Newhaven and has bought a lovely house in a vital community. I’ve asked her to send a description of her life there . Hopefully I shall include it the next blog .


Adam Curtis on a Russell Brand podcast
Sustrans shop


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Monday, 30 March 2020

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