North America 52 picture on the couch with Alice
Hanging out with Alice
It’s interesting how much that remark the other day hurt. Talking to Katie on the hike she thought that women don’t bond in the same way as men, who she considered more accepting. Whereas women can gang up and be less inclusive. I suppose one should always be careful not to generalise, but that can also become an avoidance or denial of your feelings. I think that the best thing, if such stuff is directed at you, is to be frank and say something like ” that hurt what you said” as sometimes people ain’t aware of how they come across especially in a group. As Alice points out it takes a certain amount of self-confidence and courage to take a different position to the group.
Today is overcast and cool, at least fifteen degrees C less than yesterday, my calves have eased somewhat so I’ll probably explore outside later. But for the moment I’ve taken up my position on the couch with Alice, she’s just finished looking at Hitlers children, something that on my visits to Germany continually fascinates.
Her thesis, that the core of much of our suffering stems from repressed feelings from our childhood and the need to protect our parents from our rage, rings so true.
Her general comments on Society ” the more one-sided its observance of strict moral principles such as orderliness, cleanliness, and hostility towards instinctual drives, and the more deep-seated it’s fear of the other side of human nature – vitality, spontaneity, sensuality, critical judgment, and inner independence – the more strenuous will be its efforts to isolate this hidden territory …….. ” chimes so much with Zycling Precepts.
Of course, if one has been so traumatised in childhood the ability to trust our instincts/intuition ” guide ” becomes very difficult as the fear of not getting it right inhibits our natural curiosity. I was lucky in a way, as my parents were too busy running a guest house, to inhibit my adventurous nature. Though childhood in the 40/50s was far less supervised, we climbed trees etc. fearlessly.
Incidentally Alice points out that when we realise the nature of our suffering it isn’t necessary to confront our parents. We then are truly able to forgive them.
A couple of years before my dad became ill with prostate cancer, he used to help out in my cafe. One of the regulars complained that he would reduce the size of the portions that I had made, so I asked him not to do that anymore. He flew into a temper and declared he wouldn’t come into the place again, which he didn’t .
Just before I left for North America, the country was being rocked by one child abuse scandal after another and high profile politicians and celebrities were being pilloried by a feverish media without any of Alice’s sober analysis. As she claims its in the interest of a traumatised Society to keep taboos. If that doesn’t make sense, then read her book. Ps. Perhaps Political Correctness and Health & Safety and even the terrorist fear have become the new way to apply discipline and control in society, without really examining the causes?
It’s raining and the temperature is down to 16c, the warden loves to check and keep the hostel as cool and comfortable as possible. I suppose I should go for a walk, but I’m so enjoying the comfort of home from home ( just swept and mopped the kitchen )
Off to Banff this morning, though I didn’t sleep very well so I’m feeling fragile, but the rides easy. At the information office I’m posting this and an earlier number as you must have guessed that the hostel had no WIFI .
Looking for a room at the inn PLG Tony